TDY

Zach left to Mississippi last month to do more training at Keesler AFB.   I think it's a total of 14 weeks that he is doing upgrade training, which means I am home alone with two dogs for 2.5 months.  The first weekend was really sad.  My hormones are all jacked up, and I wouldn't be surprised if I was pregnant again.  Part of me thinks I have been pregnant a few times and honestly can't stay pregnant.  I've had the discussion with a friend of mine and wouldn't be surprised if i have lots of babies in heaven I never meet during this lifetime.

I started my first round of clomid since Zach is gone.  My dr thinks that it may help get my body to start regulating ovulation since I was supposed to track my ovulation last month and there was no sign.  So when I do my second round of clomid, I will see Zach and we can try to get pregnant again.  I'm being hopeful, and know that our time is soon.  It's definitely been a trial of our faith, and Zach seems to have a lot more faith than me.  He always says the right thing when I am having a hard day.  I just never want to hear it!! :P The clomid has been making me way more emotional than needed.  haha.  I cry over everything!

Today at work I had to assist in a suction D&C.  The unfortunate thing is that the patient had already been in a couple weeks ago but that dr didn't get the complete fetus.  So today, I wasn't entirely expecting this, but  he sucked out a huge mass of the fetus and I had to grab it.  It was the size of a golf ball, and I couldn't help but be confused as to why people don't believe in the miracle of life at conception.  

The creation of life is a miracle.  It truly is amazing that a baby can form and all the right parts grow in all the right places.  It is a true testimony of God and His love for us!

A couple weeks ago in church, I looked behind me at a baby in her father's lap.  She was looking me straight in the eyes and I had this overwhelming thought "just be patient, your time is soon."  It was like she was an angel baby telling me to hang in there.  I try to be normal and keep it all to myself.  Zach is really the only one who knows how I feel.  

I am really blessed to have him.  There's no better person for me, and to go through all this with.  I know we are growing so much stronger and our desire for kids grows more and more each day.  I look forward to watching him be a dad.  He will be really good and so sweet at it! And I look forward to meeting our babies and getting to love them.  I can't imagine anything greater in the world.