Twins

I drove down to Beverly Hills for an ultrasound to see how things were going. I had my labs drawn and a quick ultrasound.  I was a little curious to see if we had any embryos split or anything.  But Dr. Surrey had to be the one to do the ultrasound, that way he could relay any important information.  When the image came up on the screen, I could see these two little black blobs.  I jokingly said, "well I know there's not 4!" and he responded with, "well there's not one either."  His sense of humor is really hard for emotional/hormonal women.  Because my heart sank a little!  For a brief second I dreaded having to go through the whole process over to try again.  Then he said, "because there are TWO." 

I can't even being to explain how happy I was to know we were having twins.  As soon as I left the office, I sent Zach ultrasound pictures and gave him a call.  We are so excited!!  We just love our little jelly beans!!

Verdict

After the transfer, I was told to wait 10 days before I could go in and get a blood test to determine whether I was pregnant and if the IVF had worked.  By that point, I was back to work carrying on my normal day.  So it was August 10, and I got up as early as possible to go to the lab across the street from my work to get my blood work done.  I knew the sooner I did that, the sooner Dr. Surrey's office would call with the results!  I worked, and waited, and worked...and waited.  I was almost done with my work shift, but a little stressed because I hadn't heard from Dr. Surrey's office. 

I tried calling the office but they hadn't received the results yet.  So I tried calling the lab to see if they had the results, and they only had an automated calling system.  So stupid!! I couldn't even talk to an operator.  I realized I didn't get off work until 5pm and the lab closed at 5pm so I left a few minutes early to drive across the street and find out what was going on!! And of course I got there and it was already closed!!

I was so anxious and annoyed and sat in my car and started to cry!  It was so silly because I had already waited 10 days.  What was 1 more day?? But I was dying to know!!  I started to drive toward home, and while I was on the lake bed between, Rosamond and Edwards, where my phone signal is the worst, I got a call from Dr. Surrey's office! I was so paranoid I was going to drop his call or something.  But somehow, there were no issues.  I pulled into the parking lot, just before the gate, so that I could get the results without being on the phone or interrupted by the gate guard. He was a little confusing in his call, so after he was explaining stuff, I just straight up asked, "so am I pregnant?"  To which he replied, "yes, you are pregnant." 

Those words were music to my ears.  I had never felt so much joy and excitement!  I immediately drove to the BX to get a pregnancy test.  Just to have visible results that we were, in fact, pregnant.  I got home and immediately called Zach to tell him the good news.  He was sleeping, but it was such a good call!  We both started crying and just felt so much joy that we were gonna have a baby...or two!!

Transfer

On July 30, I had to drive down to Beverly Hills to have all my blood work done and make sure everything was good to go.  What freaked me out was that we didn't have the correct paper work from Zach approving me to implant his embryos.  He mailed it to the office, but they couldn't find it.  And what made it worse, was that he was supposed to have it notorized so it wasn't like I just went and forged his signature.  What was I supposed to do? The transfer was the next day!! I was freaking out a bit because I had been doing all the injections and I had my heart set on getting those embryos implanted! I didn't want to wait another second!!

What we ended up doing was we Facetimed Zach and watched his sign it.  And we took a screenshot of him holding up the paper, with his signature and his I.D.  It wasn't formal, but they allowed it as proof that he was all in!  He just had to send that signed paper to the office for their records.  What a relief!!

That night, mom came to Edwards to prepare to take me in for the transfer.  I was told to drink 3 liters of water.  So I was chugging water all the way down there, and then we stopped across the street for breakfast first.  I had to pee so bad!!! I was dying!  We went upstairs to the office to get all signed in, and I thought I was going to pee my pants.  They let me go try to just "pee a little" for relief. How in the world is that possible?  I was able to stop, but it didn't relieve the amount of discomfort I had.  

When they took me back, Dr. Surrey emptied my bladder a little so I wasn't uncomfortable during the procedure.  Mom sat next to me in the procedure room, and she made a video on my phone and Facetimed Zach on her phone.  That way Zach could be apart of the process.  

The embryologist came in and asked how many embryos we wanted.  We agreed on 2.  Then she went back to her lab to get them.  She came back in, checked our names to make sure they were correct, and then there was an ultrasound tech doing an ultrasound while Dr. Surrey took a catheter that placed the embryos in my uterus.  We could see the catheter on the screen to atleast know where that was being placed.  They tilted me upside down for a little bit while the embryologist went to her lab to use a microscope to make sure the embryos were no longer on the catheter.  A few minutes later, they came in to tell us it was complete!! So cool!!

They wheeled me out, and mom stayed for a few days because I was on strict bedrest.  It was nice having mom to help me out.  I just laid on the couch and we watched a lot of movies and tv shows.  It sure was hard not being stressed out by the whole process.  I was so scared to go through all of this and it not work.  Those hormones are not easy.  I was crazy to everyone, I am sure!!

The Results are In

I can guarentee I would have a lot more emotion in these posts if I posted regularely.  But instead, I got lazy, and depressed and didn't update at all.

So after I had my surgery, and got my results back, it showed that I had plasma cells showing an infection.  I was on antibiotics for two weeks, and then had to go back in a week later for a biopsy.  I was awake for the biopsy and he went in with some tiny curette to scrape out some cells from my uterus and it hurt like a Mother! I had to have a full bladder and he told me to just "relax" while he scraped my insides out, and I tried not to pee.  Thanks Dr!

I waited all weekend, basically with high hopes.  I was not expecting any more delays, but when the Dr called (a day earlier than I expected), I was devastated to hear my infection had not gone away :(  I needed to be on another antibiotic another 2 weeks to redo the process.

Of course, the pharmacy I had them call my Rx into was right across the street from the hospital, and during the night a drunk driver had hit the power line and I couldn't pick up my Rx.  When I went back a little later, they said they never received it.  Needless to say, I was discouraged from the results, and really frustrated I couldn't get the prescription filled right away. Since the power was out at work, I was able to get off work early and I did finally get my Rx filled on base.

I finished my two weeks of antibiotics, and had my biopsy.  I got my results back and they are clear!! And I got the go ahead to start my injections.  I started injections July 7 and there's just something about the peace of moving forward.

When I told Zach my results were clear, he texted back, "I am going to be a dad!" It was so stinking sweet, and I started to tear up.  We still have to get through this process, but I am so glad to have him for support through everything.  I love him so much!

Time

Anyone who has ever given up their spouse for a long period of time for work, or a deployment, or whatever it may be, may know how hard it is!  I found this really cool app that shows you, with a pie chart, how much time is passing (or not passing) during that time away.  And I love it!!  I may or may not look every single day to check if we are progressing in this process.  I have to admit, the first week was really hard, because there was only a tiny amount of time going by, but once we got past the first 25% through, it seems as though the time is starting to speed up.  Or maybe it's just cause the color in my pie chart for what's left is getting smaller.  Either way, I am really happy to SEE the progression!!



The app is called Doing Time, and you can modify the colors to what you want.  And it sure beats cutting and stapling paper for a chain!

A Step at a Time

I had to have surgery on Cinco De Mayo! Ay ya ya!  I had a scheduled hysteroscopy to have those stupid fibroids removed.  My sweet mother in law drove up for the day to take me to surgery.  It wasn't scheduled until 2pm, but she arrived on base at 8:30am and by the time we got her checked on to base it was about 9.  So we just headed down to LA right after that.  I think both of us were anticipating traffic, but we got there rather quickly; about 10:30.  We parked and decided to walk up Rodeo Drive.  But there's really not much to it.  We asked where the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel was, to get our Pretty Woman on, and was directed exactly across the street from where we were standing. Ha! Expecting to be wowed by the interior of the hotel and see it just like the movie, we quickly learned they remodeled and it looks nothing like the movie!! Bummer!



We stopped at a little french cafe for Gwynne to grab a bite to eat, then figured we would go to the surgery center to check in, since they told me to be there at 1.  It was 12:30 when we showed up and they told me that since I had just had surgery there I didn't need to fill anything out and to come back at my surgery time.  Grrr.

So we bought some cupcakes at Sprinkles...



And walked around for a little while longer.




My surgery went well.  I was asleep for about an hour, they removed some polyps, but the fibroids are actually in the walls of my uterus and will not be removed.  He showed me pictures of my uterus and it looks really good.


I received a called the next week saying that my pathology report showed that I have plasma cells, which is basically a sign of infection and harmful to any fetus. I would need to be on an antibiotic for a couple weeks before moving forward.   So I have been on the antibiotic and go back in in a couple weeks for a biospy to make sure everything is clear.

My prayer at this point is that things come back clear.  I am heartbroken with everything that has happened.  I truly anticipated to have a healthy, easy ability to get pregnant, and these past two years have been so rough and hard on Zach and myself.  Each set back, whether big or little, creates so much heartache and I really hope we can get through this sooner than later.  We both just can't wait to have our little family. But I am also glad the surgery went well and things are not as bad as they could be. I do know it's just a matter of time before we finally get a positive pregnancy test.

Tender Mercy

It's amazing how much the little things mean so much when you are stressed out.  When we moved on base we opted out of having our backyard mowed by the landscaping company because of our dogs.  So I would go out and mow when I got a chance.  But since Denver died, we haven't really needed to do it ourselves.

Once the weather started to get a little warmer, I decided to start pulling the weeds and reseeding the yard so that we could get the yard ready and usable.  But I would spend my days off pulling weeds, and then two days later the weeds would be back... and double the amount.  I would pull weeds again, and the same thing... a couple days later they would be back and even more!!  I went and bought weed spray and spent time spraying the weeds, but it never killed them.  Instead, I would look at the backyard and those weeds were, well, growing like weeds!!

So yesterday, with Zach being gone, and just feeling overwhelmed, I finally called the landscaping company and had them put our names back on the mow list.  I was a little worried I would get chewed out for having our yard look as bad as it does, but I mentioned that Zach is deployed and I just really need help.

Today, I got a call at work from the girl I spoke to yesterday.  She left a message but told me that the landscapers came and mowed and sprayed the weeds.  But that next week, they will come and clean up all the weeds.  I literally started to tear up.  I called her back just to say "thank you!"  It's really silly how that means so much, but I feel like ever since Zach left so much has piled up and instead of having him here to help me through it, I am alone.  And I haven't quite figured out how to cope with all this...especially alone.